.Life's a Beach.

These past couple of days have had some serious ups and downs. This summer has had me thinking about so many things, what I want, what my goals are and how I'm going to achieve these things.

I've also been thinking a lot about friendship and what that means. I haven't had the best of luck in the past with people, but these last 5 years of my life I've really found my circle. I have weeded people out, some have done that for me, and I feel like the ones who have stuck around are truly going to stay. I've always had a fear of people leaving me, due to many a childhood woe. I'm growing out of it and into something else. Now I just expect to be abandoned, almost encouraging the process to just get it "over with". I push and push hoping it will be my choice that this person is gone as oppose to it being a surprise and really hurtful. I really appreciate my circle because all of them have experienced this bad habit of mine probably more than once, most likely more than twice. My dog is really the only creature who gets the best side of me at all times.

SO with all this thinking I've been doing, the people who have left really stand out in my mind. Being the over thinker that I am, I go over these situations many times. I believe I had more than a 50% involvement with them leaving, not all, but a few. They all had their importance, I just pushed them over the edge trying to see how far I could go before they threw their hands up. Some, I'm glad they're not in my life anymore, some I really regret, hind sight is always 20/20.

So this is a thank you, to one in particular. I took the situation really far, farther than I even know I'm sure. But, it was only because I'm silly, scared and let people talk me into thinking that it needed be something else. What our friendship was made sense to me, most of the time, I should never have let other opinions matter. I appreciated it for what it was, I'm sorry that I lost sight of what was important. If there is a higher power such as fate, or whatever, I hope with a whole heart that it keeps you well.