This Christmas was a doozy for many reasons, but I am extremely thankful/happy regardless. Extended family is always interesting, but mine was too much this time around. It's difficult when you don't really see eye to eye with the "elders". I was raised in Arizona, an extremely conservative state, and although I do not necessarily reflect that...my family does. I always find myself to be the recipient of criticism. I can take it pretty well normally, but this year was not an easy one to swallow. I feel very strongly about the gay marriage "issue", it really does bother me, apparently to my Grandmother this means that I myself am gay. Closed minded much? Her other point to support her "Amber is a lesbian" tirade was the fact that I don't bring boys home to meet my extended family, what's comical is that she can't see why. Who would want to introduce someone to an old lady who will hate them regardless?
Besides it being a little uncomfortable to have your sexuality questioned by your Grandmother...I was also upset about how negative she was making the whole thing; and to compound on top of all that...my Grandma does not know me at all. I find this comforting and a little upsetting at the same time. If she knew me at all she would never have to question why I would feel passionate about something, and she would never have to question how I lead my life. Ultimately it was just a reflection on her and how disconnected she is from her family. I just wish she didn't have to be so bitter and negative, but she does help me to realize what negativity looks like and to strive to be a positive/welcoming individual.
At the time of the incident/announcement she made it was hard for me to find the positive and for the first time... I walked out on a family dinner. It was just too much right wing negativity and hatred, and it hurt to know it was my own family helping to perpetuate ignorance. Either way it is over, and I wont have to see her until next Christmas...where she can "drill baby, drill" all over again.