.Week Two.

These past two days have been amazingly hot and muggy. I've spent a majority of my time at the dog beach running Lilly around and trying to cool off.

We had our first room mate heated exchange last night, or at the least the first for me at the 315 domicile. I stayed as far out of it as I could, only replying as oppose to stating any concerns. I've had some awful room mates in the past, and when I say awful...I mean AWFUL. I've seen everything from heroine needles left all over my bathroom (don't even get me started on my lack spoons) to my room mate moving in his girlfriend and her baby while I was away in Arizona. Those are just two of the major situations but I've had the whole unauthorized eating of the food, missing clothing and late night drunks. One room mate wold always stumble home and forget to lock the door behind her, which resulted in a strange man standing in my room watching me sleep. I learned from all of these misfortunes, I've learned to let the little things go. Living with people isn't really that easy, but picking your battles is!

On another note, today I really miss San Francisco the people,the food and even the dirty tenderloin. I miss having my best friend a little over a block away and our epic walks we used to take. I miss not having to feel like the new kid on the block, and knowing my way around. I really feel like a burden here, and that my room mate feels obligated to entertain me or something. I'm sure it's all in my head, but today I started to second guess my choice to live here. This feeling will pass though I'm sure, just have to give it some time.

Tomorrow starts the school week and I'm excited for it!

Good night!

.Buonasera! Chiamo Amber. Come va?.

Today was Italian 1 and it was a nightmare. I have avoided foreign language classes for exactly the reason that happened today. My professor briefly went over the alphabet, towns and geography and then BAM I'm trying to role play a full blown conversation while she only speaks to me in Italian...no English. Needless to say, I was completely lost and felt absolutely stupid that I couldn't understand anything. Most people in the class had taken or spoke Spanish, another romance language, so they could at least translate enough to answer. Me on the other hand....no habla espanol, stupid Yankee. There was one phrase that I really nailed down though, " non capisco"..."I don't understand". Pretty good for my first day trying to roll my tongue and speak with a fast moving little woman from Pisa. Benissimo!

I'm going to listen to some study Cds, do assignments in my workbook, get ahead in the text and cross my fingers that next week isn't quite so demeaning.

Ciao!

.First day.

I had a terrible time waking up and leaving this morning. It was due mostly to a certain someone who all but demanded a ride at 1:30 am. I will let that go, for now, but a discussion is definitely to be had sometime this evening in regards to boundaries.

My first class back at school today was Western Civilization. First days are always rules and expectations, but I'm really excited for this class. I am not sure if I've written this, I am a History major. Every time I say that at least one person pipes up and states their hatred for history with all of it's names, numbers and memorization. I find memorizing dates and names relatively simple and actually really enjoy all the reading involved. I am mostly fascinated with ancient civilizations, my favorite being Greece. I probably romanticize the eras but, it will forever intrigue me.

Tomorrow is U.S History which will alternate with Western Civ until Friday, then it's Italian. I also have two online courses Art History (I've taken a MILLION of these I swear) and English 111.

My school campus is right on the beach, which sounds great in theory, but when you're walking by it to class with no time to stop, it loses its charm . It was so beautiful today, warm and sunny I wanted to stop and make a sand castle on the way to the book store. No such luck, books were required, sand castle had to wait.

I've recently, in my boredom, started watching Lost,I am on season 2 about to start 3 and thoroughly confused. I am definitely addicted, but man do they throw in a ton of plot twists that have zero solutions. I will keep watching if only for Sawyer and his stupid one liners and horrible nicknames, I like him. By the way, If you have Netflix you can watch all 6 seasons on "watch it now". If you don't have Netflix, you should, it's definitely worth every penny.

Alright off to season 3.

.Life's a Beach.

These past couple of days have had some serious ups and downs. This summer has had me thinking about so many things, what I want, what my goals are and how I'm going to achieve these things.

I've also been thinking a lot about friendship and what that means. I haven't had the best of luck in the past with people, but these last 5 years of my life I've really found my circle. I have weeded people out, some have done that for me, and I feel like the ones who have stuck around are truly going to stay. I've always had a fear of people leaving me, due to many a childhood woe. I'm growing out of it and into something else. Now I just expect to be abandoned, almost encouraging the process to just get it "over with". I push and push hoping it will be my choice that this person is gone as oppose to it being a surprise and really hurtful. I really appreciate my circle because all of them have experienced this bad habit of mine probably more than once, most likely more than twice. My dog is really the only creature who gets the best side of me at all times.

SO with all this thinking I've been doing, the people who have left really stand out in my mind. Being the over thinker that I am, I go over these situations many times. I believe I had more than a 50% involvement with them leaving, not all, but a few. They all had their importance, I just pushed them over the edge trying to see how far I could go before they threw their hands up. Some, I'm glad they're not in my life anymore, some I really regret, hind sight is always 20/20.

So this is a thank you, to one in particular. I took the situation really far, farther than I even know I'm sure. But, it was only because I'm silly, scared and let people talk me into thinking that it needed be something else. What our friendship was made sense to me, most of the time, I should never have let other opinions matter. I appreciated it for what it was, I'm sorry that I lost sight of what was important. If there is a higher power such as fate, or whatever, I hope with a whole heart that it keeps you well.

.Good Morning!.

Good morning all! I hope this week finds you well. I am all set up and moved in, feeling much better about my surroundings!

Last night the new roomies and I made a big feast together, it was so cute. We made veggie skewers, grilled asparagus, portabella mushrooms with feta and baked brie (AMAZING) with honey and almonds. Quite the veggie friendly feast!

Yesterday I walked down to State St and applied a few places, I'm really crossing my fingers for Anthro (so is Danielle hah). All I need is a little part time job to keep me busy and save up for fun things to come in the summer. Lilly also experienced the beach for the first time, the waves were a little scary for her, but practice makes perfect.

Today my roomie, Becca agreed to show me around the SBCC campus. Needless to say, I am so grateful to anyone who wants to show me where to go, I have a seriously rotten sense of direction. So after this cup of coffee and a little more Smashing Pumpkins/Nirvana radio I will be exploring, with guidance.

.You've got your make-up on and you're not coming back.

Here I sit in my new room in Santa Barbara, surrounded by earthly belongings thrown about and one sleepy little puppy dog. Unfortunately I was unable to find a place that would take my whole family, which includes my cat, Axl. I am very sad at this moment to not have his little body trying so desperately to sleep on the computer. He gets to stay with my parents back in Arizona in a very stable, cat friendly and happy environment. I still can't help myself from hoping I will be lucky enough to one day have all my lovely creatures in one home again.

I have to admit, I am very scared to drive here, all these round abouts and freeways! UGH, I have a lot to figure out before school starts in little over a week.

The drive today went as smooth as it could possibly go, and I am SO thankful! My wonderful parents always go over the top to make me feel comfortable with new furniture, curtains and they even took me grocery shopping at Trader Joe's, I feel spoiled! I appreciate them so much and no matter how many times it has and will happen I can't help but cry when they leave.

I am feeling very content with my new future, but worried about how to navigate it. Updates soon to follow!

.Try, Try and Try Again.

I leave again for Santa Barbara first thing on Saturday morning. I'm feeling very positive and confident that we will make it 100% of the distance! A mechanic friend has my car all day today to go over absolutely everything that could possibly go wrong. I really can not wait to just get there and start organizing my new living space!

A little change in direction but, I had to share! We all know that Polaroids are no longer in production, but leave it to some clever websites to still make the look of a Polaroid possible digitally! Which is exactly what I did to the photo that you see here with Rollip! They have all kinds of fun little add-ons and designs to play with.

Another short mish moshy entry, but I must to be off to finish painting a "reading tree" in my Mom's classroom!

Have a beautiful day!

.Back to the Beginning.

This is my little Lilly, she is a rescue mutt I was able to adopt this summer. Here she is doing what the rest of us wish we could have done through the last few days. I am all the way back in Arizona trying to recoup before round 2 next Friday. Also later today I will be calling to argue with Expedia AGAIN, adding to my bad karma.

Onto other things, not any better, but other things! Have you ever found that the things in life that hurt the worst, last for a long time? You wear your friends out, talking and venting over and over. Pretty soon, you can't even bring yourself to let it out anymore, you keep it trapped and it just hurts like hell. The Internet has become a serious agitator of these situations, I know this from personal experience. Information is overly accessible, people just put it out there, everything you want to know but, shouldn't. You know the answers you'll hear already, "let it go", "it's been to long", "there's someone out there for everyone"...blah blah! I am not really a believer in the term "soul mate", I'm a little negative on the matter...I'm not afraid to say it! I appreciate positivity, but I really appreciate someone who can say "well, you know what %^&% it, it isn't working"!

What a mish mosh this little entry is, but that's about how I feel right now. I'm feeling just about everything and that's life, love it or leave it.

.Never Quite Goes as Planned.

Just as I had feared my poor little car couldn't make it all the way across the desert. She started acting strangely, feeling over heated. We had to pull over every 10 mi to make sure she didn't explode, or something.

After doing this many, many times we arrived in the "lovely" town of Indio, California and proceeded to limp into the local Firestone Auto repair (bad, bad AVOID). They claimed it was "no, big deal" two hours max until the little beast was back in business and well on her way to the coast! Well, 4 hours later I was handed the keys. Drove the little lady 8 miles and she heated right back up just as before. I called my new "friends" back at Firestone and had to turn right back around after some pretty horrible excuses. After many tears, and much arguing the guy in charge was not about to try to be accomodating. We explained the loss of a hotel, the ignornace, inconvenience and inabilities of his staff to no avail.

That's not even the whole story, but I am tired and this Best Western is not the place or time.

So, if you think of it cross your fingers for this family stuck in Indio, tired, and puffy eyed trying their best to get to Santa Barbara.

Farewell Suckcess.

Leaving in two days to start over where not a soul knows me. I tend to really like it this way, I can't for the life of me explain why. Packing everything up, no matter how many times I do it is always an emotional process. I find things that I thought I had hidden for a later more stable date.

This summer has been a great but, the fastest on the books. I have to leave behind a "soul mate" and basically sister once again, this really bothers me. I wish sometimes that our lives were more on the same page, but appreciate the different life experiences she has and shares with me.

We have had our fun though, stumbling about, waking up and reassuring eachother that we didn't humiliate ourselves.

I am excited to grow up and finally decide on a path that takes me to a career. I tend to quit just about everything I start, but I am absolutely determined for this to be a difference experience. Experience, what an obnoxious but essential life tool. yuck.

I am 22, starting brand new, and happy to be doing it.