12.28.2009

.Things Change.


This Christmas was a doozy for many reasons, but I am extremely thankful/happy regardless. Extended family is always interesting, but mine was too much this time around. It's difficult when you don't really see eye to eye with the "elders". I was raised in Arizona, an extremely conservative state, and although I do not necessarily reflect that...my family does. I always find myself to be the recipient of criticism. I can take it pretty well normally, but this year was not an easy one to swallow. I feel very strongly about the gay marriage "issue", it really does bother me, apparently to my Grandmother this means that I myself am gay. Closed minded much? Her other point to support her "Amber is a lesbian" tirade was the fact that I don't bring boys home to meet my extended family, what's comical is that she can't see why. Who would want to introduce someone to an old lady who will hate them regardless?
Besides it being a little uncomfortable to have your sexuality questioned by your Grandmother...I was also upset about how negative she was making the whole thing; and to compound on top of all that...my Grandma does not know me at all. I find this comforting and a little upsetting at the same time. If she knew me at all she would never have to question why I would feel passionate about something, and she would never have to question how I lead my life. Ultimately it was just a reflection on her and how disconnected she is from her family. I just wish she didn't have to be so bitter and negative, but she does help me to realize what negativity looks like and to strive to be a positive/welcoming individual.

At the time of the incident/announcement she made it was hard for me to find the positive and for the first time... I walked out on a family dinner. It was just too much right wing negativity and hatred, and it hurt to know it was my own family helping to perpetuate ignorance. Either way it is over, and I wont have to see her until next Christmas...where she can "drill baby, drill" all over again.

4 comments:

  1. i just did a post about this right winged mentality. it bothers me so so very much!

    wish your christmas was better dear!

    ooh and p.s. happy belated birthday!! <3

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  2. Hey sweet lady! I'm sorry your Christmas wasn't the best, but I can definitely relate. My extended family doesn't try to get to know me either, and my immediate family doesn't always understand why I feel the way I do.

    I do love them, but family time, especially around the holidays when it is so often, can definitely have it's negative impact on me.

    I hope your more recent days have been better!!

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  3. Thank you ladies, families can definitely be difficult! Oh, and Birthday was wonderful and very relaxed! <3 <3

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  4. Sorry that this had to ruin your holiday.
    I can relate with you. I was raised in a very open-minded and not conservative family, but married into a very conservative family. I find myself having to hold my tounge at family functions when certain subjects come up. I find that holding my tounge is best, just to avoid conflict. I know I will never change their minds about it so I just gave up on trying to have any civil conversations with them regarding those subjects.
    Sorry your grandma got to rude to you about it. Good luck next year!

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