There has got to be more to life than wondering if there has got to be more to life. I need to find something. I know that I've been looking for it for a very long time, but I just can't seem to narrow down what it is. I have moved, shifted and changed according to a whim or a mood. I find no shame in leaving and/or running (depending on how you look at it). If I don't like the flow, I change it. If I don't see something worthwhile, I leave it. But, maybe therein lies the problem. Maybe, there is no problem. Maybe, this is it. Maybe, I should just get on board and stick around for the long haul. Maybe, it's all right here, in front of me. Maybe it's not. I don't know what "it" is, but I do know what "it" isn't. My options are narrow and are becoming fewer as the years carry on. 6 years. That's a long time and a lot of time. Those were my growing up years, my finding myself years and quite possibly my worst years. Where has my head been. I don't dare to even ask where my heart was. There is no answer to the things we do and act out. I disheveled my life, picked up and moved, restarted and yet stuck around with the one thing that I should never have. Again, where was my head? Why am I going over all of this all over again. It's dead. We buried it. I should leave it where it lies. There is no going back this time and no matter where my head or heart thinks they are...they're coming with this time. We're leaving.