I ended up just staying in town, no San Francisco for me. It was the responsible choice to make, that's for sure. This summer, so far, has been all about blasting Cab Calloway, Bob Dylan and Tom Waits, cooking delicious meals and spending time with my little hound dog! Poor Lily definitely does not get out as much when I am in test mode with finals and amidst paper writing, so I have been spoiling her each day with a little trip to the beach!
I feel as if this year is flying by way too fast, moving is looming and life is changing again. People come and go, I've mentioned my acknowledgment of this fact numerous times, but for some reason it always comes as a shock. I constantly think the best of people and place a lot of faith that they really just want to do what's right and follow through on their word, but I always seem disappointed. Most recently a close friend really drained me of all my emotions, forced to me talk everything out and broke me down, completely broke me down. Through all of that I was under the impression that it was all for something, a better friendship. Now, I just feel broken, he hasn't been there for the follow up process of rebuilding, and I have no idea why I am surprised. I always complain about his inconsistencies, but really he is the most consistent person I know....consistently inconsistent. If there is one thing about him I can count on, it is that I can't count on him. I always hope for fair weather because I know that if it gets a little cloudy and looks like rain, he won't be there. I can't keep hoping for fair weather friends. Oddly enough, I feel in pieces after pouring myself out like that, but I am not angry, maybe a little sad, but not angry. I can't be angry with anyone but myself in this case, I do this, I choose this and I let it happen. I go out of my way for people that really just need to be let go of. I've been writing on the same page of my life for too many years, it's time to really, truly turn the page.