.Happy Days are Here Again.

Everything has been going a little more my way..baby steps, but steps non the less. I tend to feel very up and down. I have very rarely in my life felt "content" and/or "happy" for extended periods of time. I have been trying my best to figure out why that is and to change it. It's been a bit of an uphill battle, seeing as how uprooting your life can make a process of finding contentment a little more out of reach. I am not even sure contentment is what I want, but I'd like to feel something like it. My tactics have been to really reach out and meet new people, exploring my new surroundings and trying new things. New, new and more new. It's all really working so far and I can feel myself letting go of the old, old and old. It's just taking time and all I got is time.

.Torn in two.

All these changes and so little time! I am loving it and it's loving me. I am absolutely pulled in so many different ways, shapes and forms and I'm feeling the stretch. Some people get what they want or need so quickly, life dotes on them and I don't envy that. I work, strive and my victories are that much sweeter. I have learned so much about myself these last two months and sometimes I am weak, but most of the time I'm not. Sometimes I give in and I cry and eat cake...and it's ok because the next day comes. A new day is always a new day. I sound like a self-help book for the perpetually negative! It's all true though and it's something I'm trying to live every day! If there is one very important thing I have learned over the last couple of years it's that, you can't find happiness in someone or something. You have to look a lot closer to home than that.

.You Look Good to Me.

Today was a good day, I accomplished a lot! I still have a thesis to narrow down, 12 page paper to compose and a midterm next week, but I feel good! I am back to my old/real self a little rough around the edges, a little untrusting and extremely self sufficient. I feel happier, I feel like me again! I feel so much better saying good-bye to that "walk all over me" saccharine, sickening sweetness. Not the best point of view I'm sure, but with this crazy lot I've been blessed with, it's the best I can do.
I'm back into the swing of things catching up on homework and eliminating unnecessary time wasters. It still would be nice to have at least one person here in SB that I felt comfortable around, but I'm not letting it get me down. Who needs friends when you've got...midterms?
Danielle, the bargain hunter, found tickets for $48 one way! It would be amazing to have her positive outlook around for a few days; maybe she can help me to desire to be nice again!
Alright blog-land back to reading and writing! Good night