.Try Again.

So, I definitely wrote a huge long entry yesterday and deleted it. I felt it was a little too personal. There are some things going on right now that are never easy. I have a very sick Grandpa who really means the world to me. I'm pretty awful when it comes to dealing with emotions, in fact I just don't deal with them at all. I may cry or get upset, but I put it away. That's how I describe it, I literally just put it somewhere else. I have been told and know that it's not the healthiest thing in the world, but I know no other way. I don't see what's healthy about spending an extended amount of time being upset. The best I can do when it comes to talking about anything comes with a very important disclosure that goes something like this, "I want to talk to you about something, but you have to promise never to bring it up again". I mean it too! Once I'm done with...I am DONE with it. Other than sad stuff, school is almost done and I can't wait. I just turned in the last paper I had to write for the semester and I feel like a whole new person! Now I feel as if I can focus on what's next, Austin! My good friend Chelsea just signed her lease in Texas and I am just so excited thinking about her and I living in the same place again, a NEW place. I know I felt as if I was getting away from everything by moving down here, and I really did...but it was just a little too away. I've met some fun people in Santa Barbara, no doubt about that, but unfortunately I just haven't met someone that I click with. I am one of those people where if nothing is holding me somewhere, I just leave. It took me a really long time to pack up and say good-bye to San Francisco and it was a hard thing to do. That is most certainly not the case with SB, GOOD BYE!
Speaking of San Francisco, I will be visiting my old stomping ground May 14-16th, just in time for bay to breakers! BBQ's, lots of beer and really great people that I have truly missed, just what I need! This will be mine and Chelsea's last time hanging out in SF together before moving and I am telling myself right now that I WILL talk photos.

.Week Two.

These past two days have been amazingly hot and muggy. I've spent a majority of my time at the dog beach running Lilly around and trying to cool off.

We had our first room mate heated exchange last night, or at the least the first for me at the 315 domicile. I stayed as far out of it as I could, only replying as oppose to stating any concerns. I've had some awful room mates in the past, and when I say awful...I mean AWFUL. I've seen everything from heroine needles left all over my bathroom (don't even get me started on my lack spoons) to my room mate moving in his girlfriend and her baby while I was away in Arizona. Those are just two of the major situations but I've had the whole unauthorized eating of the food, missing clothing and late night drunks. One room mate wold always stumble home and forget to lock the door behind her, which resulted in a strange man standing in my room watching me sleep. I learned from all of these misfortunes, I've learned to let the little things go. Living with people isn't really that easy, but picking your battles is!

On another note, today I really miss San Francisco the people,the food and even the dirty tenderloin. I miss having my best friend a little over a block away and our epic walks we used to take. I miss not having to feel like the new kid on the block, and knowing my way around. I really feel like a burden here, and that my room mate feels obligated to entertain me or something. I'm sure it's all in my head, but today I started to second guess my choice to live here. This feeling will pass though I'm sure, just have to give it some time.

Tomorrow starts the school week and I'm excited for it!

Good night!