.If I'm Lost It's Not For Long.

This last week has been a tough one, again. This time I refuse to let it carry on..I am done with my bad attitude! There are so many great things coming my way I refuse to let some possible bad ones take away my happiness.

My semester is coming to a close and I'm feeling pretty good about it all. I have 4 papers I need to write here in the next couple weeks, but I know I will get it done! I thought this semester would be a lot more difficult than it ended up being. The classes I thought would be most difficult ended up a breeze! Ask me to say that again during finals...won't happen...guaranteed!

I still need to work on my transfer to Texas, but I have a good feeling about it. Speaking of Texas, some of my stress and bad attitude is coming from this particular situation. I'll just start this out right... Hi, my name is Amber, and I am a planner. I like planning, I feel better when things are planned and I hate when people keep trying to change my plans. I've always wanted to be one of those people that just "goes with it", but it's so not me. I get anxiety and I can't sleep when I don't have a plan. It's sad...and scary I know. So, in knowing that I'm this way you would think I would surround myself with fellow planners. Not the case. The opposite happens more often than not and I am constantly anxious that someone is about to flake on me (p.s. I'm normally right). I realize that I need to let go a little and be flexible with plans. So, I generally am...but someone who consistently can't make up their mind really just push me over the edge.

In regards to Texas I have decided that no one matters. I can do this and I will do it, alone. I will make my plans and include only myself. I do this for my sanity in all honesty. I cannot continue on this weird path of disappointment in people. It's not healthy. Therefore, expectations are only for me. It's so much better this way!

Enough of my rant! Goodnight blogland xoxox!

.4 days!.

I cannot believe how fast November is going, it makes me both happy and sad at the same time.

I leave for Prescott in 4 days and I have some stuff I need to wrap up before that happens. The more I've grown up the more I realize how much I have to plan to feel good about things. My planner is always full and with the smallest things,"Fly Home, remember to check in online, you leave at 12:40, pack pajamas" and thats just part of whats written for that day! I am absolutely not good at the whole "flying by the seat of your pants" movement that my generation loves so much, I need spontaneity, but it gives me anxiety! Then again all these traits come straight from my lovely Mom and I love when I do something that she would do so I don't feel an urge to change it. One of my favorites is how she would get the suitcases out probably 1.5 weeks before the actual trip and proceed to pack them so carefully throughout the whole time span(that I don't do, I pack the night before and like she always warns me I pack FAR to much)! Speaking of Mom, I am so excited to see her I could burst! Living at home over the summer for the first time since I was 18 was so much fun, made me miss being young, and it all made me really miss my Mom. I can cook ok, but not like her and her meals are something I dream about. I have probably 4 recipes I can call go to recipes, but thats about it. None of these recipes include baked goods. I love cooking and hate baking, and strangely enough my two best friends adore baking so it works out!

Alright off to finish my project that I wrote a paragraph about in my planner!